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- It’s Never Too Late for the Dead Baby Card!!Last Updated: 6/15/2011
Letting Go and Proud Moments
The other night I got that dreaded call: "There’s been an accident; we don’t know anything but she’s been taken to the hospital in Springfield.” My daughter is 20yrs old and scheduled to be married 10 days from that moment. The call was from her mil-to-be. She and I go WAY back and are very dear friends. The only thing she knew was that Randy had talked to her and was on his way. He didn’t exactly know where he was going though or how bad it was. Avalanche of emotions and flurry of activity to get there. My husband was at the ball field watching the big boys play softball. I made phone calls to get him back home, which of course, he didn’t hear his phone or answer. So I ran down the list of kid’s phones and finally got an answer. I could hear her saying, yeah, it’s JUST mom! Mission accomplished, on his way. Then to find out exactly where she was and if there was any word. Got an address, texted it to her fiancé, got dressed (I was already ready for bed.) So we were on the road rather quickly. Not before the series of calls/texts began from all the other children. News travels fast on the Easthon pipeline, that’s all I’m sayin’!!
It’s impossible to even articulate what goes though your mind at such a time. It’s never pretty, I think, and with me at least, goes straight to the worst possible WHAT-IF. Visited that place for a very short time, before I dragged my mind back and made it stay present. Drifted back to the place we had been with my now-dil of her near fatal car accident 2.5yrs ago.
Please, Lord…that is all I could pray and very distractedly. Thankfully, there were others who could pray and were doing that. Got there, found her, she was in the ER on a backbrace thing, with her neck in supports and she was crying and very shocky-looking. We had seen her like that when she had fallen in Kara’s hospital room and cracked her head but-good. So I wasn’t terrified anymore. She wasn’t bleeding, but she was hyperventilating and they were taking x-rays. They thought her ribs were broken and maybe her collarbone. She did have a few cuts & scrapes and a small burn, but overall, quite a miracle considering she had a collision at 60mph. Thank-you, Lord.
After a time, which seemed like forever, the doc came in and took her off the board and braces. He said it didn’t look like anything was broken but he was going to do another x-ray, because the ones he had weren’t very good, this one of her chest to make sure. I slipped into Momma-Bear-Mode and said, "well, if you find broken ribs, how will you treat them?” He said, "Very conservatively, just watch her.” Me: "So, you won’t actually DO ANY-thing?” Him: "Well, we’ll be very conservative.” Me: "Then I don’t want any more x-rays. They are cumulative, and since you’re not going to DO anything, there’s no need.” Him: "Well, what does SHE want?” Me: Deer in the headlights look….hummmmm….oh yeah, she is of-age and about to be married. Me: "I’ll defer to Randy.” So dialog back & forth with her and Randy. Randy: "Well, what do YOU want, Les” Leslie: "just looks at us”….Me: "okay, nevermind me, nevermind him (the doc) he’s just trying to cover his rear-end. They had upped the stakes by pulling the ole "dead baby card”….This is how THAT goes: "What we have here is a possible PE or a pneumothorax, those are silent and DEADLY….you could walk out of here FINE and then several hours later have that lung just collapse and you’ll DIE, I’ve seen it happen. I’ve seen many patients have that happen. They just DIE.” Me thinking to myself: "Ah-haaaaa, the proverbial dead-baby-card.” But saying to her: "You need to follow your gut, do what YOU feel is right, is BEST…what YOU want. If you want to just have it done and move on, it doesn't matter what I think.” She chose to have the x-ray, and you know? I was really fine with that. It was normal and they sent her home. The doc was very polite and thanked us for allowing it, and I was NICE and thanked him. Yep, I was NICE to a doc. Imagine that!
We got home and my heart just soared when my 17yr old son greeted us at the door with nothing but concern for his sister. He helped her in and down to her room. He never even said a word about the car. She had borrowed HIS car, which now sits at the impound lot. He doesn’t even have his license yet and has never taken the car out by himself. He is scheduled to get his license in a few days, and now has no car to take it in.
I think that we didn’t totally ruin their lives by home-schooling them or with our crazy-over-protective ways. I’ve gotten what I always dreamed of and wanted, children that are each-other’s best friends. Again, THANK-YOU, LORD!
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