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- They Donít Sell Those There...

Last Updated: 7/21/2013

You just can't get there from here....ever hear that one? Apparently in Maine they have that saying, it is said when giving directions as an observation of the impossibility of traveling a direct route between certain places. It seems to have something to do with lakes and the organization of roads in the vast rural areas of the state.Once upon a time back in 1991, way before the internet, we were moving from Florida to Ohio. We were being moved by the company that had hired my husband. They sent a moving company to pack us up, we weren't supposed to do anything except take what we wanted with us. Well, they were late first of all, and we were on a timeline. We had to leave before they'd finished packing our house so my sister-in-law stayed at the house to make sure it was all completed as promised. They had also (of course) underestimated the amount of space they needed and they had to get a second truck the following day. After that truck had been packed and driven away, my sister-in-law called my husband. They had packed everything up except for ONE bookcase which had been in the back bedroom. They couldn't get it out of the bedroom. Apparently they struggled and struggled, and there were two men and they just could not get it out of there. The conclusion they came to, was that it would not come out.

This bookcase happened to have been hand-crafted by the husband of a dear friend of mine and I was unwilling to leave it behind. I called the company to inform them, they would need to get a THIRD truck and MORE men and go BACK and get my bookcase. The man argued with me saying that it just wasn't possible to get it out of the room. I argued that it went INTO the room, THEREFORE by virtue of the laws of physics...IT WOULD COME OUT. What goes up must come down, what goes in must come out. That bookcase was not built inside that room, I put it in there myself. I KNEW it WOULD come out and he'd better send someone else over there to do it. He just kept arguing and so I had to climb the ladder of authority until I found someone who understood the reality of the situation. They did send another truck and another team of men, and they drove my bookcase by itself on the truck across the US to our new home. It still baffles me that someone could come to that conclusion. He told me, no, it's just a ONE-WAY item. Say WHAAAT? A ONE-WAY item...it's something that only goes in one way and cannot move. True story, you just can't make that stuff up.

The movers were mistaken, it wasn't a one-way item....and it did make it out. I'm sure that the people in Maine can get from point A to point B, although they may have lots of twists and turns. It may not be a direct route. Most of the time, you CAN get there from HERE... you just have to figure out the route. You may just have to wriggle and twist to get something out of a tight space.

BUT.....If you go to Dick's sporting goods store, you cannot purchase any groceries. They don't have them there, they really don't. If you go up to the desk and ask, "where is the milk?" They will look at you like you've bumped your head. They will tell you, "we don't have that here, we don't carry it, you'll have to go to the grocer to get milk." You cannot wait for the next truck. It won't help if you know the manager. It won't matter if somebody else told you THEY got milk there. YOU CANNOT GET MILK AT DICK'S SPORTING GOODS STORE, YOU CANNOT!

Another thing you cannot get is an unhindered birth in a hospital. They don't sell THOSE THERE. Now it is possible to have a vaginal birth (although not very likely, depending on circumstances) but all things are not created equal. All hospitals are not created equal, all providers are not the same. If you go to a SURGEON hoping for an unhindered birth, well, it just doesn't make any sense, does it? Surgeons are trained to operate. Surgeons are NOT providers trained for normal birth. Very few have ever even seen a truly natural, unhindered birth.

I'm a Lamaze certified childbirth educator. Part of the Lamaze philosophy is that you can have a safe birth either: in a hospital, in a birth center, or in a home. When I first got the credentials in 2007, I agreed it was possible. I have to say now, after another 6 years attending births, I don't think the likelihood is very good at all. Nope, many providers promise it, but very few come through. There are repeated poking and prodding, sharp pointy things, monitoring and testing, always on the schedule of the hospital without regard to the mother or her desires. It doesn't matter if you don't want vaginal exams, which have no benefit most times, with much discomfort and additional risk to both mother and baby. It doesn't matter what you want really. Here is one story of a birth I attended, where the mother was not only disrespected, but flat-out assaulted.

So that was pretty painful, so here are some births that actually ARE unhindered. THIS is what you COULD have if YOU retained the right to make the decisions. THIS is what is possible (whether you have a scar on your belly or not).  This is a video montage of a friend's homebirth alone with her family and a close friend.  Unencumbered.

And another one:

Many times people will say, "BUT WHAT IFFFFF??????....IF I hadn't been in a hospital, my baby would have DIED!!" That may be true, but it may not. Babies die. It is a fact of nature. Most of the time babies are very resilient and can rebound from whatever hardships come. Sometimes not. And sometimes it would not matter WHERE they were or WHOM was in attendance. Sometimes babies are just meant to go straight to heaven. It is only arrogance to believe that the attendant controls the outcome. Most problems that come, come as a result of interference and interventions.

Following is a birth where the mother is alone, and her baby needs assistance breathing when he is born. She handles it, she doesn't panic. She is gentle and baby is receiving oxygenated blood from his umbilical cord and placenta until he does begin breathing. That would not happen in a hospital because they would cut the cord immediately to resuscitate him. I don't understand that procedure/protocol at all. It completely defies logic.

Now go back and watch that one again. See how long she waited before she gave baby rescue breaths? Listen to her observation. That is NOT what you would find in a hospital. You will NOT GET AN UNHINDERED BIRTH IN A HOSPITAL....THEY DO NOT SELL THOSE THERE! So the midwife's assistant gets there, and after a bit, mom just wants "peace & quiet"....the assistant respects her wishes...... someone I know says...... NO HATTING, CHATTING or PATTING (Carla Hartley)....it interferes with the cascade of hormones. Mom and Dad handle things just fine.

For contrast, here is a birth that happened at a hospital local to me, Miami Valley Hospital. It is the birth of a friend of mine. She gave me permission to post it. I was not there. She knows I believe she was not treated in the manner she deserved to be treated, and did not receive the care she needed. This is the type of treatment that is common in hospital births and not only with this particular midwife. If she wants to comment who it is, she is free to do that.

The most particularly painful part of this video for me is watching my friend reaching for her baby with such longing, while baby is handled by someone other than her mother. A vast contrast from the previous birth.

YOU CAN'T GET THAT THERE....DON'T THINK YOU CAN, DON'T THINK that YOU will be the exception. The only way you will get that, is to stay home. Nobody says it better than Dr. Marsden Wagner, MD, Former Director, Women's and Children's Health, World Health Organization in Ricki Lake's the Business of Being Born.

"IF you want to have a humanized birth....then.....

You say it, "Get the XXX out of the hospital!!!!" Whyyyyy????


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